5 Newborn Sleep Truths Every Parent Should Know

When I had my first baby, I hadn’t learned a thing about infant sleep. Not one article, not one class—I quickly went to Facebook posts and Google searches at 2 a.m. And oh, did I search. I became obsessively concerned with trying to figure out sleep. Why wasn’t she sleeping longer? Was I doing something wrong? Should I be putting her down drowsy but awake? Or fully asleep? Should she be in the bassinet or the swing or the crib?

It kind of made me crazy.

Looking back, I realize I was desperate for control in a season that is inherently unpredictable. It wasn’t until I had my second daughter—and by then had learned a whole lot more about how children sleep—that the process felt a lot smoother. I finally understood what was normal and what wasn’t worth stressing over.

So whether you’re holding your brand-new baby right now or expecting your first (or third!) and want to feel more prepared, here are five truths I wish I had known from the beginning.

Truth #1: Newborn Sleep Is Not Supposed to Be Long or Predictable

Let me just say this louder for the new moms in the back: If your newborn is waking up a lot, that’s not a problem—it’s developmentally normal.

Newborns have very short sleep cycles, often lasting 45 to 60 minutes. Their brains and bodies are still adjusting to life outside the womb, and they don’t yet have the ability to connect sleep cycles the way older babies can.

That means it’s completely normal (and healthy!) for them to wake frequently. I used to think there was something wrong if my baby didn’t sleep for a full stretch, but that just led me to more anxiety. Once I stopped expecting predictability and started looking for patterns instead, it got a whole lot easier to manage.

Truth #2: Days and Nights Are Mixed Up—And That’s Okay

If your baby wants to party at 2 a.m. but snooze all day long, welcome to the club. Newborns are born without a functioning circadian rhythm, which means they don’t yet know the difference between day and night.

The good news? You can help them adjust, gently and gradually.

Here are a few things that helped us:

• Keep the lights low during night feedings and diaper changes.

• Expose your baby to natural daylight during the day (especially in the morning).

• Keep daytime naps a bit noisy and bright, and nighttime calm and quiet.

Also—limit those extra-long naps during the day. I know, I know—it’s so tempting to let them sleep for three hours straight so you can finally eat something or take a shower. But the reality is: you may only get one long stretch of sleep from your baby each day. Wouldn’t you rather it be at night?

I’m not saying wake them constantly, but if it’s been over two hours during the day, it’s okay to gently rouse them. This helps shift more of that longer sleep to the nighttime hours over time.

Truth #3: Feeding and Sleep Are Deeply Connected

In the early weeks, babies wake to eat. A lot. Their stomachs are tiny, their growth is rapid, and their biological drive to feed is strong.

But it’s not just about how often they eat—it’s also about how they eat.

Especially with breastfeeding, it’s so important to make sure your baby is getting a full feeding at each session. If they're just snacking—nursing for a minute or two and then falling asleep—they're likely only getting the foremilk (which is thinner and less filling) and not making it to the nutrient-rich, satisfying hindmilk.

That means they’ll be hungrier sooner, waking more frequently, and possibly not gaining weight as steadily.

Sometimes a feeding schedule can help. For example, aiming to feed every 2.5–3 hours during the day (while always watching your baby’s cues) can support longer stretches at night. But in the earliest days, your focus should also be on helping them stay awake long enough to actually eat. That might mean tickling their feet, blowing gently on their face, or switching sides when they starts dozing off.

It’s not about watching the clock—it’s about making sure they're getting enough to eat to support their sleep.

Truth #4: Sleep Cues Are Subtle (and Easy to Miss)

If you’re waiting for a big yawn or an eye rub before putting your baby down, you might already be past the ideal window.

Newborns often show very subtle sleep cues—zoning out, glazed eyes, red eyebrows, little jerky movements. Once they’re yawning or fussing, they may already be overtired, which can make it harder for them to fall (and stay) asleep.

A good rule of thumb? For newborns, try offering sleep after about 45–60 minutes of awake time. Yes, that’s short! But their bodies can’t handle long stretches yet.

I found it really helpful to jot down when my baby woke up and then count forward about 45 minutes to plan for sleep. It doesn’t have to be fancy—a notes app on your phone or a sticky note on the counter works just fine. Or if you’re a visual person, a printable sleep tracker can make it feel more manageable.

Truth #5: You Can’t Spoil a Newborn—Responding Builds Trust

One of the biggest myths I see floating around is the idea that holding your baby too much or helping them fall asleep will create “bad habits.” Let me just say this clearly: You cannot spoil a newborn.

In those early weeks, your baby is still adjusting to life on the outside. They need closeness, comfort, and contact. Rocking, nursing, bouncing, contact naps—these aren’t crutches. They’re connection.

And they’re also temporary.

With my first, I panicked about everything—was I creating sleep crutches? Should I be putting her down more often? Would I ever sleep again? But with my second, I let myself lean into it. I rocked her. I snuggled her. I let her sleep on me. And then, when the time came, we transitioned. And it was so much easier because I wasn’t fighting biology—I was working with it.

Every time you respond to your baby, you’re building a foundation of trust. That trust will serve you both as they grow into a more independent sleeper.

Final Thoughts: You’re Doing Better Than You Think

Newborn sleep is messy. It’s inconsistent. It’s often exhausting. But it’s not forever—and you don’t have to do it perfectly to do it well.

The biggest thing I learned between baby one and baby two is that knowledge brings confidence. Understanding what’s normal took away so much of the anxiety and guilt I carried that first time around.

So here’s your permission slip: Hold your baby. Rock them to sleep. Let go of rigid expectations. And if you only remember one thing from this post, let it be this—

Newborn sleep isn’t broken. It’s just new.

You’ve got this, mama!